And the Tories think this man will be taken seriously...

We are here to serve - the syllable at the heart of our party and the heart of our jams. Lovely strawberry preserves to spread on toast. Mmmm! Mmmm!

Well, OK, I admit it, Mr Poll Tax Michael Howard did not say that. He did say something almost equally stupid however:

We are here to serve - the syllable at the heart of our name, and at the heart of our purpose.

Choose a different syllable and you'd get "We are here to con...". This is the highlight of a speech full of meaningless waffle. What a great start. Blair must be quivering in his boots. Time will of course tell whether Dracula Howard can do the job, but he'll need to do better than this or he may resemble Count Duckula more than Count Dracula.